8 Folded Limbs

Some blue days can turn into blue months and blue years. That can be all right.  As long as you can see that colors can change. People change. People grow and bend and sometimes they break. You can only heal yourself, though. You can love someone deeply and truly and madly and they will never change. I think the trick is to love yourself that way. You will change. Mourn the loss of your former self and move on.

Everything you have done in your life has gotten you to where you are in this moment. Some moments are better than others. I am not sure if I believe in fate because of the buildup of consequence. How can fate play a role when you lay the plans out yourself?

Depression is real. It's nasty and I do not like it. It is - however- part of my journey as is anxiety. I am not 'bipolar'. I am not a 'major depressive'. I do still have episodes of panic and my troubles with  Orienteering have gotten worse. 'They' have no idea what I am. I know that Yoga saved my life. If I had not  Pushed through and gotten my certification --  I may have given up on what it had to offer. Every day I am reminded of what I can do to try To help others with their struggles. One of my hopes is that I can understand what Some people go through. These struggles of life are not isolated. I do not think I would be the teacher I am now if It were not for the struggles endured along The way.

If someone needs something- give it to them if you can spare it.  I am tired of only hearing folks saying, 'I'll pray for you". Sure. Pray. Also:DO SOMETHING.  At some point in your life --  you may need actual help as well. Give the world your talents. I sincerely believe that is the kiln they are fired in.

can someone explain to me when life becomes predictable? Every day becomes so much similar to the preceding day that the only Separation is madness.

I am accepting students for August.  I still work on a sliding scale, so that my rates are affordable within personal attention guidelines. I have decided over the past two years that privates are the best solution I can offer.  

Many people have body identity disorders.  I knew it always existed --like the dust on the fridge coils-- but like everyone else -- I have ignored it.  That is both the case with myself and others.  I really thought it was a personal mountain to climb all of these years.  Lately, I have been doing some research on different body image disorders and have come to the conclusion that it is rampant not only in America, but other countries as well.  It is not just a female problem.  For generations, people have had a gross misunderstanding of what they 'should' look like and how they feel about the bodies that they do inhabit.  I am going to share a story with you from my child hood.  It is painful and it left a large scar not only on my heart but on the opening where I allow women to enter in as friends. In the second grade, I was invited to a birthday party at a classmates' home in the 'rich' area of town.  There were several kids there and I...

ॐ भूर्भुवः॒ स्वः । तत्स॑वितुर्वरे॑ण्यं । भ॒र्गो॑ दे॒वस्य॑ धीमहि। । धियो॒ यो नः॑ प्रचो॒दया॑त्॥  Oṃ bhūr bhuvaḥ svaḥ tát savitúr váreṇ(i)yaṃ bhárgo devásya dhīmahi dhíyo yó naḥ pracodáyāt Om Shanti.  Please Shanti.  Come Shanti.        Oṃ bhūr bhuvaḥ svaḥ tát savitúr váreṇ(i)yaṃ bhárgo devásya dhīmahi dhíyo yó naḥ pracodáyāt

I think we all go through periods of breaking open.   I have had several of them so far in my life.  I am not one to believe in fate, but there seems to be a pattern here.  It goes from focus to non-focus, and the focused parts are the hardest.  When I am focused on myself and what I am doing, everything in the outside world slows to  crawl and my heart races so fast it sounds like a horse.  The last thirteen months have been a breaking point to rival and ante up my breaking open of 2002-2004.  It is a bad trip, a hangover.  You never quite know when it will end. I have been through tears, anger, frustration and giving up.   Over a year of tests, doctor's visits and begging people to take me to them. Months of pleading with people to simply come over and ride with me in the car, so that I can drive a bit. My ideas about what it means to be alone in this world -- truly alone -- have gelled in the past year.  I am sure that a...

What worth do you place on a thing?  Can you walk away from your furniture, cooking bowls and photos? What if someone gave you cash for all of your things in a lump sum? You could go anywhere -- start over. What price would you accept for your life's cache? Things to think about.

Our lives are a path of mirrors.  Everyone we know and everything we own is a mirror of who we think we are.  The people we come in contact with provide varying degrees of reflections of who we are to them.  The things we surround ourselves with offer a small reflective window into our likes and dislikes.   Why do we set ourselves up with a hall of mirrors? The fear of annihilation of the self is so strong that we constantly search for and need re-authentication of who we are. One interesting shard to this mosaic: we are concerned mostly with how we appear to our external mirrors.  The reflections of these outer glasses imprint on our own vision, changing our perceptions regarding self-identification.  This loop of composition affirmation does not lag unless we seal ourselves off from the distortion of reflection. In solitude, we are able to examine our own mirrors and ask who we really are.  There is nothing there in that m...

I do have a Facebook page for my little Yoga Den studio. 8 Folded Limbs Please like it if you have an account.

Tomorrow is my birthday.  It does not mean as much to me now as it did years ago, but I treat it like my new year.  Most people make resolutions and take stock on 12-31, but I do it on January 12th every year.  For me, my birthday marks the time I began to breathe.  From that time, I have been able to create my life to a certain extent.  In the last few years, I have had more latitude in the menu of my life. Choosing to work for myself as a teacher has put a significant strain on my finances.  The ability to help people search for what they are looking for is worth it to me.  You cannot buy soul fire.  You can help magnify it in someone else with your own.  That is what I want for my life.  To use my light as a catalyst for sparks in others.  I want to set the world on fire from the inside-out.  Where there is hatred -- let me sow love.  So may it ever be. Namaste

Patience is not something you are born with.  It is also not something you can cultivate if you fill up all of your time, every day.  When you are waiting -- wait.  Try not to play a game on your cell or check social media sites or do whatever it is that you do to never experience the 'suffering' of waiting.  The less you allow yourself to be in a position of   supposed 'pain', the less you will be equipped to mitigate that response.   Try to just wait. Try to just drive. Try to just talk on the phone. Try to just read. Is it really necessary to have 15 things going on at once? Or ... could it be that most people feel that if they do not do many things at once that they are somehow 'wasting' time? Time still passes.   Do not lie to yourselves:  You are putting the pain of emptiness on the table when you inundate yourselves with external chatter.  Try to be still. Try to do this and you will grow ...

HEY Attention is very important in the 21st century to everyone.  There are so many ways our minds can be entertained there days.  We have cell phones with Internet access, television, social media sites, news blurbs, tech forums and so on that all collectively pull our attention in 10,000 different places every day.  If you were able to count all of your thoughts during a conversation, the net result would be almost shameful.  When another human is trying to communicate with you, please do not check your email or watch television.  Stop. What. You. Are. Doing. Focus. What that person has to say is important.   Electronic friend- keeping has made personal relationships dilute and arbitrary. Don't just text someone when they are ill -- call them or go visit if you are able.   When you are engaged in conversation, please do not yell at your dog or scold your child.  If there is an emergency, close the call and deal with your business. ...

Slow down. Do everything at 3/4 or 1/2 pace today of you can.Do not place anyone in harm's way. As your body slows down, you will be able to focus more on what it is you are doing at the moment -- instead of what is on a lost of things for you to do in the future. Be kind to yourself.  Allow yourself to have the extra few seconds to complete tasks so that you can have your whole being included in the moment.  Less mistakes happen and the memory of events is improved. More focused, longer term attention takes root in mindfullness.  Please.  It really is not for you.  It is for the people around you.

This has got to be the most beautiful sound in the World. I have a constant melody in my head from this Mantra. I am not completely certain that I even hear it anymore.  It is almost as if my heart beats mostly to this rhythm. Sometimes it is in the traditional way, and sometimes a herald of Celtic instruments take it over in my head.      One odd thing to note, however, is the ease with which my brain switches over to the other Mantra I was working on Last year. ॐ गम गणपतये नमः It was so much easier to complete ... if there is such a thing with a Mantra.  I am becoming certain that Mantras fill the mind and do not leave.   I have been researching mantras over the past year and I have decided they are truly healing vibrations.  The small amount I have examined Sanskrit -- opened my eyes to the utter fact that it is the Mother of all language and fashioned after the sounds of the infinite.   My small, diluted words do not do thi...

‎"If to any man the tumult of the flesh were silenced; and the phantoms of earth and waters and air were silenced; and the poles were silent as well; indeed, if the very soul grew silent to herself, and went beyond herself by not thinking of herself; if fancies and imaginary revelations were silenced; if every tongue and every sign and every transient thing -- for actually if any man could hear them, all these would say, 'We did not create ourselves, but were created by Him who abides forever' -- and if, having uttered this, they too should be silent, having stirred our ears to hear him who created them; and if then he alone spoke, not through them but by himself, that we might hear his word, not in fleshly tongue or angelic voice, nor sound of thunder, nor the obscurity of a parable, but might hear him -- him for whose sake we love these things -- if we could hear him without these, as we two now strained ourselves to do, we then with rapid thought might touch on that Et...

Most of us hate to be in pain.  Perhaps--sometimes-- pain can teach us what pleasure never could.  Pain forces us to be acutely aware of the present moment.  In pleasure, we are there, but hoping it will never end instead of wishing for the end, as in pain.  Either way, there is an immediate focus on need. I twisted my ankle today because I was not in the present moment.  There was an early holiday parade in the city, and I was steaming about having to walk all the way around it instead of through it.  Pop.  Ouch.  Limp, limp.  Every step I took to my hostel from that moment was magnified by the pain in my ankle.  I almost laughed at the lesson.  Suffice to say, from that moment and still yet-- I am painfully in the now.  

Every thing you do, say or think creates an imprint in your minds.  Depending on which parts of us we take care of, some of the seeds after time and attention ripen and create fruit.  These fruits are either the end result of thoughtful or thoughtless deeds.  The gardens of our minds are our responsibility.  What we consume, do or think has a lasting effect on not only us, but others as well.  Be very careful of the types of seeds you plant in your mental garden because they will not only affect you -- they can affect those you love as well. Plant thoughtful seeds as much as you can and use meditation to weed out the others.  It is very important to hold the reins of our thoughts and actions.  The fruits of them will come to visit us again.